If you ask me, 2019 was a sh*t show (excuse my language). 2019’s been a rough year in more ways than I thought possible. And I know its not just me, this is a mutual feeling across the board. From the current political divide, to heightened racial tensions, to the gender divide, to climate change – the bad news seem never-ending. 2019 was bleak at best, and I can’t be the only one thats glad its finally coming to an end.
I started off the year good. Publishing to my blog twice a week, every week. Then I hit some technical difficulties. My phone broke, and this was key to me producing content for my blog. All the content you see on here is concepted, created, and edited by me. I’m a one woman show as they say. Whilst a phone breaking to many may seem like a first world problem, to me it’s crucial for content creation. I shoot all my outfit posts by myself, and use my phone as a remote that operates my camera – which is often somewhere in the distance on a tripod. Try juggling all of this with making sure your stuff doesn’t get stolen, it’s a lot I tell you. So when my phone broke and I had to go back to using an iPhone 5, everything came to a halt. I don’t have an Instagram boyfriend who helps me, in fact I don’t have anyone who helps me at all. I do this because I enjoy it, and it’s a passion of mine. I love having a creative outlet where I can share my vision with the world, and I love the response it gets. I’m in it for the art. Which is why when it came to a stop, this was heart-breaking. I was doing so well consistently uploading across my blog and social media, and producing content I was proud of. Taking an unexpected break forced me to rethink what I was doing, and why. If anything, it has enabled me to see what I want to achieve from this creative outlet. In 2020 I plan on coming back to the blog life in a big way, hopefully technology decides to cooperate with me (still undergoing some technical difficulties so bare with me).
Health wise I definitely slipped off of the wagon in 2019. Upon reflection, I’ve been able to see what I need to do for me. I think we spend so much time concentrating on others whilst forgetting to take care of ourselves in the process, we let ourselves become an afterthought. 2020 is the year to be selfish, I’m putting myself and my health (physical, emotional, and mental) first. In 2018 I had to have two minor operations, and I didn’t expect it to take the toll on me that it did. It knocked my confidence in a big way, and I had to take a step back. 2020 I will be taking the time to exercise, practice self-care, and take time out of my day for me. I’m writing this on here and being as honest and open as possible, in the hopes that I’ll be held accountable – there’s no going back now!
As a mixed race woman, living in this time of heightened racial tension and political divide is tiring. Not to mention the gender pay gap, and seeing how regressive our society has become in terms of equal opportunities for women. You can’t voice your opinions in this climate without fear of offending someone or saying the wrong thing, and as someone who loves to write and share my thoughts and opinions this is something I struggle with. My only hopes for the next year, and all the years after, is that we as a society come together more and start to live harmoniously. Rejoicing in the fact that we have such a limited amount of time on earth, we may as well make the most of it…
2019 taught me a lot. Trials and tribulations allowed me to become a better person, and to grow. I appreciate it all – the good, the bag, and the ugly. 2020, I’m ready for you.